100wc week#13 by Rachel S

4

Posted by 6spupil2016 | Posted in General News | Posted on 29-11-2016

The Mystery in the Dark

As the dark night sky set on sandy cliffs and the cool summer breeze blew through the small town of Lavendale, all but one were sleeping tight in their bed. However, the one who disobeyed his hard-working parents was soon to pay for his wrong doing…

He was far from bed, he was crawling through the wide path, within the tall oak trees where the endangered orange birds rest, yet to find out, waiting in his path, was a swamp and as he approached a devious crocodile snuck out and up to his feet. The young boy took one glance at it and collapsed. Would he be found?

Comments (4)

Hi Rachel, Your this week is brilliant you are a superb writer and very creative and your sentences are so advanced.Great title and well written story I really enjoyed reading your story this week. You used really good adjectives and your sentence openers are excellent. You fit the five words in really well and carefully choose each word. Your plot is really creative and imaginative your whole story was described very well and I can tell you enjoy writing and hope you continue writing superb stories. Your are an amazing and inspiring writer and I look forward to reading your stories in the future.

If you would like to check out my story and maybe leave a comment my link is below.
http://smppspower.weebly.com/100-wc-week-13/lauren

Hi Rachel. I really liked how you started off your story. It had a nice flow. I also liked how you used a rhetorical question at the end. Well Done!

Hi Rachel, I truly agree that your writing is astounding. I loved the way that you used multiple adjectives. They really fit with the rest of your story!

Hi Rachel,

I really enjoyed your story because the description was beautiful and had such a nice flow. I also loved the rhetorical question at the end as it builds up tension.

I look forward to reading your story next week.

~Ella

Write a comment