I’m a Celebrity…..Get Me Out of Here!! 100WC Week#13 by Ella

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Posted by 6spupil2016 | Posted in General News | Posted on 29-11-2016

The humid orange sky faded over the looping trees and the day of the first Bushtucker Trial had arrived. Scarlett lay within her wide hammock, giggling at Adam dancing like a hamster on roller skates. This was it. I had been chosen for the first Bushtucker Trial and my future lay ahead of me, unknown.

I arrived and all that seemed to be there was an endless obsidian cave filled with creatures. Huge creatures! Hairy creatures! Creatures I’ve never even heard of! But there, in the darkness, was a huge crocodile who seemed infuriated and ready to bite…

“Are you ready?” Ant and Dec yelled to me.

“Ummm okay?” I started. Before I even had a chance to finish, the huge pile of rocks collapsed in front of the cave entrance, and I was off on my journey to collect the stars.

Comments (20)

Loving the references to this year’s jungle. Now consider structure to ensure that your reader follows the story. Adverbs and adverbials of time are great for this.

Well done Ella.

Mr S 🙂

I think your story should win 100 we this week because you had great adjectives and vocabulary and punctuation you’re was very creative and amusing I really enjoyed it

To Ella,

WOW I really liked your story Ella, It was inspiring, I hope it gets in the showcase. Well done, From Ellen

Well done Ella!! I really liked your story and the adjectives you used your story was excellent. Well Done!!!

Maybe you could check out my story
http://smppspower.weebly.com/100-wc-week-13/elizabeth#comments

well done I really liked your story and I think it is very creative.
well done you used the prompt very well and I really think your idea was great!!
keep up the great work!!!
If you don’t mind please check out my storyhttp://smppspower.weebly.com/100-wc-week-13/sahil

Hi Ella,

What a creative take on this week’s prompt. I am most impressed and my class really enjoyed your story. I have tweeted your story with Ant and Dec. They might have time to read your story. 🙂

Please check my class’s stories on:

http://smppspower.weebly.com/100-wc-week-13/previous/3

Many thanks,
Ms. Power

Thankyou for the feedback Ms.Power

I will definitely check out your class’s stories. I have read some before and they are absolutely fantastic!

~Ella

Well Done Ella! That is my favourite programme.
Star= loved the story setting.
Wish=a few more full stops.
Star=I loved your ending of the story and I also loved the way you used the prompt words.

Please checkout my story on this link
smppspower.weebly.com

Well done Ella, very good but the thing I think you should improve is your full stops.

Ella, that was really good you used punctuation correctly – well done!

Hi Ella. I like that you used ‘I’m celebrity get me out of here!’ I love that writing – I’m so amazed.

I loved the short sentences you used to describe the creatures because it built up tension! But you could have described the trial that you were going to take part in because it was like you were just going to a normal cave.

Well Done Ella amazing work, I can see how you stole from another story and that made it a whole lot better.

I loved how you used astounding sentences with some of the best adjectives with cunning inverted commas. Finally, I also loved the part where you didn’t just say the original monsters, you added something to make it even more interesting.

Star- I loved every detail. All of the description truly helped me picture it in my mind.

Star- Another thing that I loved about yours is that you had fantastic dialogue because you added dialogue I knew who was talking therefore I became more interested in your story.

Wish- How about you try adding more similes and metaphors or personification so your readers get a better image of your story.

Great work and I hope to see more of it on the blog.
~Rachel N and Vinnie

Hi Ella,
Amazing work you used some fabulous openers. Your work really engaged me as a reader. Next time try to add some similies or metaphors. You also could add a colertive conjunction. Apart from that I can not wait to read your next 100wc challenge.

That was a very nice, Ella! Please visit my website . https://kidblog.org/class/mrs-golds-class-507b/posts/b75ifo4vrdk87kpfvg8rtc0ks

Well done Ella! I loved every bit of this story! You are a very talented writer and I loved how you took I’m a celebrity get me out of here and made it a lot better good job!

Hi Ella, love your work it is amazing I like your volcabuary and I also like how you used your punctuation

Amazing writing Ella! I especially like the way you effectively use such a variety of sentence structures. Perhaps you could pop over to 3C’s blog and give them some hints as we found this week’s prompt a bit tricky!

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