100WC#13 by Luke

13

Posted by 6spupil2016 | Posted in General News | Posted on 30-11-2016

The Crocodile Poem

The crocodile who was very fat,

Decided to go and see the little bat,

Then they went to see the cat who was very wide,

Who unfortunately collapsed and died.

 

Within the unfortunate hours,

We had to buy some flowers,

When the day was over,

It began to get colder.

 

We went to the zoo to see the orange tiger,

But he didn’t want to see us either,

Then I got a cut,

So I went to find the first aid hut.

 

They said: “Oh dear!”

I replied, “Just don’t fear.”

They said: “Go home for a rest.”

So I went home ’cause I’m best!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments (13)

Fantastic poem Luke but have you tried reading other poems and stealing from them?

Great work! I really liked how you wrote a poem instead of writing story, but try and keep all of the verses the same amount of syllables.

I agree thanks for the comment it really helped me,I’ll be sure to do that in the future.

Very good Luke, I really like your poem you used your punctuation in the right way but try to make it dramatic.

Luke what a great poem. I think you’ll be a great writer when you grow up. It was also a hilarious story and you still used the 5 words. Great work

Well done on your poem, as you made it dramatic and your used all the words what you needed to use. But try to keep the same amount of syllables in each verse.
Over all great work

Abbie

Great story Luke. I found it entertaining to read it was a great read.
Star=love the rhyming on each line.
Star=you were able to get all the five words in 100 words.
Wish=make a picture in the reader’s mind.

I really enjoyed your work Luke. Next time, you should possibly use more descriptive language. Keep up on the fantastic work.

Cool poem, Luke. I think it’s quite creative and funny. I like the way you made the words rhyme. 🙂

I loved that poem keep up the good work

Very funny, Luke! I love cats though…

Hello,I’m sick as I’m posting but astounding work Luke you really described the crocodile and how he behaves keep up the great work I really enjoyed it!

Thanks Simon z

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